I've always been a very outspoken, quick tempered, passionate, and stern conversationalist. Since, I have always been this way, my method to prevent any sort of irate reaction on my end due to a disagreement is to just simply avoid all controversial topics, especially the topics that i am more passionate about than others. For some odd reason it seemed as though the last couple of weeks I couldn't run away from such topics even if i was paid to do so. They were all around.
The first issue came into play when my cousin and his came from Arkansas to Chicago to visit for the weekend. Now, my cousin makes it a point to avoid befriending people of color. I've known this about him for some time and even though i don't agree he is my cousin, I love, and i just choose not to really discuss the matter(cause i know I'd get pissed). Now his friend on the other was another special case. He dates interracial (that's fine), but he made it quite clear that he doesn't date people who are "darker" than he is. That is his statement i quoted him exactly. Upon hearing this statement flow from his mouth i begin to feel my blood come to a complete boil. In fact, my blood was boiling over. Discrimination is the subject that pisses me off to the core, especially those that discriminate within their own race. Now at the time that this conversation was taking place there was a room full of beautiful brown sistas, including myself. I felt as though i was in the twilight zone because no one saw a problem with their mentality except me. I was the only one feeling myself get so "fired up" over his ignorance. In fact many of the women in the room felt as though it was okay because it was a "preference", but in my mind i saw it as discrimination and worst of all it was discrimination within his own race. In my opinion a preference is to maybe favor one, but you can enjoy them all (not i like lighter and lighter only). I didn't see how someone of color could ever develop the mentality that one shade is better or more appealing than the other. I couldn't comprehend how two black men, especially from the south couldn't see how beautiful our culture was and appreciate it. in fact it pissed me off to see black men being okay with living by the house nigga/field nigga mentality. It seemed like such a disgrace to me and no one was angry except me. In fact I was so infuriated that i left the house for the entire day in hopes that all of those fools would have been gone by the time that i returned.
Then later in the week I ended up having a discussion about sexuality. An individual asked me do I feel as though people can be born gay or not. Now, I was brought up in an overly religious household and church where I am taught to believe that being gay is "wrong, wrong, wrong". I have encountered so many people who are so hateful toward gay people and the person I was having this conversation with was one of those "religious I can't stand gay people" types. It makes me so angry because I have friends who are gay. I am personally offended to have people in my life being judged, hated, and mistreated due to their sexuality. Most of the people that preach about how big of a "SIN" homosexuality is are sinning all day everyday themselves. The last time I checked fornication is a sin, lying is a sin, cheating is a sin, cursing is a sin, drinking is a sin, lusting is a sin, putting everything and everybody before God is a sin. So, it seems to me that we are all guilty of sinning. The world is full of sin so before we start judging & hating people trying to find out were they born a certain way. Why don't we do some soul searching on our end. God made us all. He loves us all. In my opinion "Can someone be born gay"? I have no idea and in fact i don't care. I love all people and I accept people for who they are. I am sure that if you feel as though you are so perfect, someone could point on a flaw or two that you can check yourself on.
The next topic i try to avoid is politics. I work around the most hard core republicans and sometimes these conversations can take a turn for the worst. in fact i remember reporting to work the very next day after President Obama had been elected. It was definitely a joyous day for myself and others that are happy to see some change taking place in this country, but many of my coworkers were not thrilled (that was expected). The moment that stands out the most to me about being in the office that day is when one of the brokers were being teased and asked "What was he going to do now"? his reply was "I am going to do what the rest of the world will be doing, that's suffering". I heard him loud and clear and I went off (and cursed a time or so). I got a "lil crunk"..lol So, I ended up being reprimanded for cursing in the office.
Then I had to have the abortion conversation. Personally, I feel as though it should be an individual choice with the right to decide what to do with your own body. Who am I, to tell you what you should and shouldn't do. I don't know your situation and I am not going to judge another person decisions regardless of their circumstances. I don't think any woman would be thrilled or nonchalant about having to consider eliminating a life. It is tough enough trying to put everything into perspective, the last thing you need is someone shoving judgemental views in your ear.
The funny thing is after having all of these conversations in one week had my energy and mood so tossed around I thought I was getting my period, but it was a coworker who had a chat with me and my cousin cassie who helped me see the light. i don't have to fight every battle, I don't have to persuade you to see my side, and i for damn sure don't have to see your side. The bottom line is We Don't Have To Agree and I don't have to let the mentality of another piss me off. My practice is definitely to always try my best to avoid such controversial conversations, but i know now that it's okay to disagree and when everything is said and done. I can still walk away from the conversation the same way it started as a GROWN WOMAN WITH MY OWN OPINION!!!!! and guess what YALL DON'T HAVE TO AGREE...lol Happy Sunday Peeps.. I've missed you all!
The first issue came into play when my cousin and his came from Arkansas to Chicago to visit for the weekend. Now, my cousin makes it a point to avoid befriending people of color. I've known this about him for some time and even though i don't agree he is my cousin, I love, and i just choose not to really discuss the matter(cause i know I'd get pissed). Now his friend on the other was another special case. He dates interracial (that's fine), but he made it quite clear that he doesn't date people who are "darker" than he is. That is his statement i quoted him exactly. Upon hearing this statement flow from his mouth i begin to feel my blood come to a complete boil. In fact, my blood was boiling over. Discrimination is the subject that pisses me off to the core, especially those that discriminate within their own race. Now at the time that this conversation was taking place there was a room full of beautiful brown sistas, including myself. I felt as though i was in the twilight zone because no one saw a problem with their mentality except me. I was the only one feeling myself get so "fired up" over his ignorance. In fact many of the women in the room felt as though it was okay because it was a "preference", but in my mind i saw it as discrimination and worst of all it was discrimination within his own race. In my opinion a preference is to maybe favor one, but you can enjoy them all (not i like lighter and lighter only). I didn't see how someone of color could ever develop the mentality that one shade is better or more appealing than the other. I couldn't comprehend how two black men, especially from the south couldn't see how beautiful our culture was and appreciate it. in fact it pissed me off to see black men being okay with living by the house nigga/field nigga mentality. It seemed like such a disgrace to me and no one was angry except me. In fact I was so infuriated that i left the house for the entire day in hopes that all of those fools would have been gone by the time that i returned.
Then later in the week I ended up having a discussion about sexuality. An individual asked me do I feel as though people can be born gay or not. Now, I was brought up in an overly religious household and church where I am taught to believe that being gay is "wrong, wrong, wrong". I have encountered so many people who are so hateful toward gay people and the person I was having this conversation with was one of those "religious I can't stand gay people" types. It makes me so angry because I have friends who are gay. I am personally offended to have people in my life being judged, hated, and mistreated due to their sexuality. Most of the people that preach about how big of a "SIN" homosexuality is are sinning all day everyday themselves. The last time I checked fornication is a sin, lying is a sin, cheating is a sin, cursing is a sin, drinking is a sin, lusting is a sin, putting everything and everybody before God is a sin. So, it seems to me that we are all guilty of sinning. The world is full of sin so before we start judging & hating people trying to find out were they born a certain way. Why don't we do some soul searching on our end. God made us all. He loves us all. In my opinion "Can someone be born gay"? I have no idea and in fact i don't care. I love all people and I accept people for who they are. I am sure that if you feel as though you are so perfect, someone could point on a flaw or two that you can check yourself on.
The next topic i try to avoid is politics. I work around the most hard core republicans and sometimes these conversations can take a turn for the worst. in fact i remember reporting to work the very next day after President Obama had been elected. It was definitely a joyous day for myself and others that are happy to see some change taking place in this country, but many of my coworkers were not thrilled (that was expected). The moment that stands out the most to me about being in the office that day is when one of the brokers were being teased and asked "What was he going to do now"? his reply was "I am going to do what the rest of the world will be doing, that's suffering". I heard him loud and clear and I went off (and cursed a time or so). I got a "lil crunk"..lol So, I ended up being reprimanded for cursing in the office.
Then I had to have the abortion conversation. Personally, I feel as though it should be an individual choice with the right to decide what to do with your own body. Who am I, to tell you what you should and shouldn't do. I don't know your situation and I am not going to judge another person decisions regardless of their circumstances. I don't think any woman would be thrilled or nonchalant about having to consider eliminating a life. It is tough enough trying to put everything into perspective, the last thing you need is someone shoving judgemental views in your ear.
The funny thing is after having all of these conversations in one week had my energy and mood so tossed around I thought I was getting my period, but it was a coworker who had a chat with me and my cousin cassie who helped me see the light. i don't have to fight every battle, I don't have to persuade you to see my side, and i for damn sure don't have to see your side. The bottom line is We Don't Have To Agree and I don't have to let the mentality of another piss me off. My practice is definitely to always try my best to avoid such controversial conversations, but i know now that it's okay to disagree and when everything is said and done. I can still walk away from the conversation the same way it started as a GROWN WOMAN WITH MY OWN OPINION!!!!! and guess what YALL DON'T HAVE TO AGREE...lol Happy Sunday Peeps.. I've missed you all!
